Chapter Twenty-four

Pam watches Edna’s eyelids as they flutter. They are like limp fleshy butterfly wings, unsuccessful in their persistent efforts to fly. And the creased vertical lines above her lips sway with the twists of her frowns and smiles. Pam takes a few strands of Edna’s recently permed hair and rubs them between her fingers, feeling the coarseness that comes with age and chemicals and hairspray. She bends over and gives Edna a kiss on the forehead.

Edna’s eyelids drift open at the kiss, and she stares at the ceiling.

“You feeling okay, Grandma?”

Edna blinks and looks into Pam’s eyes. She seems to be looking for something but cannot find what she is looking for.“Why are your eyes so small?” Edna says. “I can’t see myself. I should…why…” Edna looks confused, as though she is trying to remember what eyes are for.

Pam waits patiently for Edna to pull her thoughts together. There is nothing more unusual about Edna not understanding why Pam’s eyes are not mirrors than Edna accusing strangers of cat thievery, so Pam is not alarmed. Edna eventually spots the mirror and sees the reflection of a white-haired woman.

“Is that me?” she asks. Then looks at Pam, “Are you, you?”

“Who am I and who are you?” Pam asks Edna.

To Pam’s amazement, Edna answers, “you’re my sweet little Pam, and I’m your ol’ crotchety grandma!”

“You know who I am?” Pam asks.

“Well of course I do, honey. Why wouldn’t I know who my own granddaughter is?”

“Because you…” Pam does not finish the sentence. If Edna is having a lucid moment, why remind her of something that is not worth remembering?

Edna’s nap seems to have been very refreshing, for not only does she wake up with her wits about her, but she is happy. Pam tries her luck and asks Edna if she is up for a game of aggravation. And, indeed, Edna is up for a game of aggravation. Pam pulls out the long since used handmade wooden board game and the accompanying dice and marbles. Aggravation is a family favorite that has been passed down from Edna’s husband’s family. Before he died, Grady’s uncle made wooden cross boards for each of his kids’ families, and each of his nieces’ and nephews’ families, so they could all carry on with the tradition. Edna refused to let Grady take the game after the divorce. It was a gift to the family, not just to Grady, and Grady was the one who chose to leave, not her. That was the reasoning she gave, and it was part of Edna’s reason. But she also felt that if he took the board, he would be ripping from her the sense that she ever had the right to belong—to anything; or to even exist. For, what is the reason for existing if one does not belong anywhere in existence.

When she married Grady she felt, for the first time in her life, like she was part of a family; his family. His parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles became her parents, siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles. And, together, they extended that family with their own, so Edna was not only a part of something; she contributed to it. But after the divorce, it was as if Grady took with him the family he first made her a part of. For he was her connection, and she did not know how to stay connected to them without him. And if he had taken the board game it would have been as if she never was a part of that family at all; as if nothing could ever truly belong to her, and she could never truly belong to anything.

However, though she did not know it then, she would learn that she has belonged all along, for she has been loved all along. And she will learn how very important she is, for her very existence would usher in the salvation of a world.

As Edna helps Pam set up the game, she feels proud of herself for refusing to let Grady take it, so many years ago.

The two play for hours, and Pam texts her mom with an update about the surprising mood that Edna is in. Eventually all of Edna’s children show up for a visit. Pizza is ordered, and aggravation is played until nightfall, and no one wants to leave. They are all having so much fun with Edna. But it’s okay. They have no reason to hurry; for time is just a game, and the days of play have only just begun.